Transparency. Careful consideration. Thorough vetting. Broad consultation with all interested parties.

Screw those things. They’re all for lesser schools.

We’re going to announce a candidate on a Wednesday, have one public event with him on a Thursday, and announce him as president of the second-largest university in the country on a Friday.

We’re going to completely ignore the petition, the news stories and the faculty who think this is no way to choose a president. We’re going to lurch from one scandal to the next, and cap it off by hiring the white guy we had in our back pocket the whole time. We’re going to disobey Florida state Sunshine Laws, in spirit if not in letter. We’re going to show everyone just how little we think of due process, yet again.

We’re UCF, and You’re Not.